Reading about Josie and Matt made me remember my last relationship all too painfully.

Maybe I always should have known then, after the incident just before CRP.

Hands down, worst time of my life.
Thank God for the strong drugs which took away all of my emotion and some of the physical pain.

I'll begin to let you go
When the sunlight melts the snow
Every night I drive away from you
I see mountains I have yet to move

And you there
You don't care
I wonder if you

Wanted me like I wanted you
It's the lonely truth
That I can't change you
You sure can't change me

It's hard as hell tonight to sleep
To close my eyes would be admitting my defeat

Nisa's status says that 95% of defence counsel are men. I feel an almost primal urge to join the 5%.

In a landmark decision by Yang Arif Ariff today, the KL High Court ruled that MACC is not entitled to interrogate witness beyond normal office hours.

Mere common sense and yet someone had to die before this became apparent.
Better late than never. Congratulations to the Boss, Tan Boon Wah and the citizens of Malaysia.

A very honourable decision on the part of YAA. I wonder which higher court puppet will come along now to fuck it all up?

It's no wonder RKK are losing (or rather, getting rid of) their best judges.

Another headliner worth mentioning would be the Boss taking up Nazri's challenge to prosecute Lingam. Today's news say that Nazri will be forwarding his name to the AG's Chambers.

I very excitedly and naively told my Dad that now Boss will definitely be given authority to represent the AG's Chambers and prosecute Lingam

My Daddy very wisely said that as hopeful as he is as well, it is unlikely to happen and some other fool will now have to bear the brunt of rejecting such a brilliant offer.

Now we can only wait to see who the scape goat will be.
Will it be you, Tan Sri Gani Patail?

Just got back from Singapore.

Had dinner at Thai Express. I love Thai Express (the one in Singapore, not KL)!

Enjoyed long conversations with my Dad in the car to and from Singapore.
Amongst others, now I know:
1. The difference in interests between a car loan and a house loan.
2. What to do when my Daddy dies. (This was extremely painful, awkward and not at all pleasant.)

Me: Why are you telling me ALL THIS????????
Dad: You're the eldest. You need to know.

OMG. No. You will not die till I buy you an Alphard (which is unlikely to be within the next 30 years SO!)

Still pondering on whether to spend the weekend in KL. The lovely brother has offered me his room while he bunks with a friend (I'm suspecting a very pretty lady friend).

Is it you

Balancing is hard.

I wish we were more carefree.
So that we could do just what we wanted, whenever we wanted.

I guess all that takes is really selfishness.

I dreamt I was back last night, I called but you were in Copenhagen.

I dreamt you wrote on my wall.

I dreamt the longest about you but for some unfathomable reason, I just can't remember anything about it.

Strange how I place my past first, my current last and my future, although seemingly the most important, smack in the middle of nowhere.

I wish dreams were fixed, certain theoretically. I wish they could be studied, understood, analysed. Because I need to know why.

Did you know the scientific study of dreams is called oneirology?

My favourite brother is back, finally, after months of hard studying in Taylor's.

He's funny, witty and brutal as hell but never fails to make me laugh.

He's been back for one weekend right and this girl has called him multiple times and again, he's talking to her on FB so I ask,

"Eh bro, is xxx your girlfriend?"

"Nope. Sadly, I do not have a girlfriend."

"Fine. Let me rephrase that. Is she your Potential Girlfriend?"

"Nope, she's not my type."

"What's your type then?"

"Um..fair, long hair, siao siao (crazy)."

To which I then flung my hair back, did a pirouette and said,

"Like me?"

He then looked at me in surprise and said,

"Ya, you do fit the description but we came from the same village."

"HUH? What village?"

"What village? I said vajayjay, VAJAYJAY!"

I hate being left in the dark.
I like knowing.
If you're close enough to me, you'll know that my favourite question is Why.

Suddenly January seems much too long and far away.

But I don't know enough, I need sun when it leaves the day.

How is it that someone else's misery is your joy?
It is indeed unfortunate that life sometimes works this way.

Received the most random phone call this morning.

"Joanne? Do you have the internet in front of you? Can you please find out what MYC stands for?"

Had a clash with the past yesterday that left me torn and in tears.
But it's a new day, new dawn.

And my favourite brother is coming home today! Much smiles and love.
On a different note and person altogether,

Watched from a distance as you
Made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue.

Listening to Crazier on loop.

Had a long conversation with the wise lady this afternoon about boys. I always think that my mom is very very wise. She's not just brilliant but she's also very apt with human nature. Being her, and seeing the worst side of men, I think makes her a lot more knowledgeable.

I think that in that sense, I am like her.
I wonder if it's just Me that bring out the worst side in men as well.
It scares me.

She also said something that amused me very much (not wise, this one).
"Then you should take your time."

Take my time?
I thought boyfriends were like gifts from heaven. They're supposed to fall on your laps, you weren't supposed to be looking for them!

While I've never actually experienced it personally, seeing some men behave the way they do just makes me lose faith in men in general.

Are All Boys just Liars?

I'm so sick of people lying to me.
Seriously, wtf is up with boys who lie?

Sure, I think infidelity is the mother of all sins but even A Little Lie will strike you off my list.
What's even worse is if they're both combined.

A long time ago, I stumbled upon this,

"It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read..."

And that is so true.
If you have a girlfriend, be honest about it.
Wtf is up with boys and lying about their girlfriends. Seriously.

Why do such people exist and WHY oh WHY do I have to be the one who meets them?

It's bad enough if they're strangers.
The worst, when they're people you've known for years and love and trust.

Irrationally angry about boys like that even though I am not even mildly interested in them.