Is it really that elusive?

I think I've reached a point where I'm not even looking for love anymore.

I've lost faith in the boy I think I love.
I'm getting very tired of the boy I care about.
And I'm so so fascinated by a boy I feel nothing for.

He never criticizes, is never negative.
He is always patient.
And yet I am very slightly afraid, always very very careful.

She says he never laughs or cries.
And yet today, in a span of 5 minutes, he laughed twice.

I hope my smile can distract you.